Lamentations of a PSO I mean, I do this for a living, you know? Don’t get me wrong, it can be fun, in fact, it’s mostly fun. But there are some days, and some callers, who drive you absolutely crazy. I understand fetishes, hell that’s my job, and I’m damned good at it, if I do say so myself. But for Christ’s sake, there are just some things I can’t do. Which brings me to this dilemma. I’ve got this one caller, he seems nice enough, he’s a regular and he’s been calling a while. But he’s got this obsession I just can’t help him with. I know what you’re thinking. All I can say is get your mind out of the dregs of the gutter. It’s not like that. Crap, I tell people all the time I won’t talk about something, either because it’s illegal, my employer doesn’t allow it (hello, this is my job, you know paychecks and hours and all that bullshit, even though I work at home), or I find it revolting. This isn’t like that. I’d do it if I could find a way to do it right, but the exact technology isn’t available anywhere I can find, anyway, and God knows I’ve looked. Let me tell you what I’m looking for, maybe you know something. An app, I’m looking for an app for my smartphone that I can use to unlock a padlock remotely. That’s all. Is that too much to ask of 21st century technology? That’s how simple my problem is. Oh, it’d be nice to have a couple of features, maybe a way to check the lock to get the status, you know, if it’s engaged, or it has been pried open or something. And a way to keep the number of the phone hidden would be nice, like a private number. Maybe a special notification ringtone I can set. That isn’t too much to ask, is it? What for, you want to know? What, do you want to be a PSO or something? Why else would you want to know? I understand curiosity, I guess, but do you think I want every PSO on the site scouring my feedback trying to figure out which customer this is? I mean the guy swears it’s only me he wants to do this with, but I can tell you, once some of these attractive young ladies and gentlemen start singing their sweet siren songs to this poor, vulnerable pervert, all bets are off. OK, OK, I'll explain it all, in detail, but if I lose this guy, it’s on you all, and I never forget. This guy has been calling me for a couple of years. He’s a great customer. I love him. He started out a pretty normal guy who wanted to find a mistress. I don’t like to brag, but I’m pretty good at it, and he liked me. He liked shaving his legs for me. He liked wearing panties to work for me. He liked spanking himself on webcam while I watched. It was all pretty vanilla stuff for a PSO, to tell the truth. We had a good time for quite a while. Then one day he calls me with this crazy idea. He says he likes doing what I say, but he’d like it better if I made him do what I say. Now the thing about fetishes you’ve got to be careful about is if you say you’re wearing a red dress with white checks, everything is great. They will cum in their mouth on webcam and post it to xnxx.com, beat their own asses until they’re red, do it all. But if you say you’re wearing a white dress with red checks, well, you just ruined the fantasy. I get that. I was struggling with the concept of doing what I told him and making him do what I told him, though. So I frankly asked him what he meant by that. “I want you to make me do things for your enjoyment.” “I do make you do things for my enjoyment.” “I don’t want to have any choice.” Well, this could have had any one of several answers, but it seemed to me he was trying to get me to say something. So I asked him, “How could I make sure you didn’t have any choice?” “I want to wear a locked chastity device, and I want you to hold the key, so I can't cum unless you want me to." Well, you have to agree this would do it, but a lot of practical problems came to mind. The first is, I don’t live with him. Hell, I don’t live in the same state, or even the same region of the country. How could I get the key to him and he get it to me? Anything I could think of lacks spontaneity, and that lag could ruin everything. The post office is a lot more efficient that they are given credit for, but, still, there is time involved there. What the gentleman was requesting was some sort of method which didn’t make it attractive to use bolt cutters so near his private parts, or even scissors in the case of those cute little plastic locks. We’ve been kicking this around for a while, but there is no solution in sight. I’d even mail him the lock if I needed to, when we got started. He’s right, you know, it just might be fun, a real time key holder for your chastity device, who could unlock it any time or not, at her discretion. I could turn out to be the first PSO millionaire. But I can’t figure it out. This job isn’t as easy as it seems to you, the customer, when you’re ejaculating, you know. I swear if I get this figured out I may never, ever, allow that guy to cum again. Sigh.